We all think we have problems. The car won’t start, the internet is slow, can’t put gas in the Suburban, etc. And in our worlds, these problems seem huge, since they are the only ones we really have. I know, many families this year are facing foreclosure, homelessness, huge debt. But whether we are riding high this Christmas, or worried about putting food on the table and foregoing presents, I think it worthy to really take a look at how and why we personally celebrate.
I’ve noticed a few things this holiday season. Lots of complaining about alternative celebrations. “Oh, I can’t take my snot-nosed-corporately-labeled-below-average-progeny to see a nativity scene without baby Jesus being stuck behind a Festivus pole of beer cans!” Oh, the horror! Big deal you coifed monster, why not explain to your kids that America is awesome because you can celebrate Christmas, and some other guy can celebrate what ever he wants? Stop trying to distract everyone with your insipid banality.
War on Christmas. You must be kidding me. Christmas, like Easter, was appropriated by the Christians from a mix of pagan traditions hundreds of years ago, where they took a perfectly good week-long holiday of lawlessness and indulgence and turned it into a rather lame single day of bling, consumption, and guilt that they can claim as their own. And now their descendants are mad that people might want to do something different. Boo-hoo. Be a Christian, celebrate it however you want. Just don’t force everyone else to do it with you. I know, that does kind of go against centuries of all of Christianity as a religion forcing itself on regular old pagans, but just try it. Break that trend of making everyone do it the way you do. I have it on good authority that Jesus thinks you are just being petty with your endless wars on nothing anyway.
Sadly, the only thing we have left of any decency on the holiday scene is Thanksgiving, and people have even managed to screw that up by spending the day after being thankful for everything they do have by going shopping and fighting over garbage they do not have, and do not need. Lovely. Probably only a matter of time before I hear some that some wingnut (probably Rick Santorum) is trying to change Thanksgiving to celebrate the day Jesus tied his sandals. You know, because just generally being thankful isn’t enough.
Which brings me (somewhat meanderingly) back to my main point. First World Problems. Watch this video. Hopefully it puts you in a good mood, ready to be thankful for what you have (and what some of you body-slammed some soccer mom in Wal-Mart to get a few weeks ago), and those around you. Because in the end, Christmas isn’t about you. It’s not about explaining Festivus to your kids. It’s not about trees, lights, Jesus, Saturnalia, or egg-nog (although maybe it should be about egg-nog).
Christmas is about coming together and being nice to each other. Why do we need to be exclusive? Muslims, Jews, Christians, Aryans, Pastafarians, voodoo priestesses. Everybody get together, eat some food, and find some common ground. Do that in whatever way you want. And let others do it whatever way they want. Try forgetting how you finally got healthcare, or how you hate that others can get healthcare. Stop fighting over which political party is screwing us worse. You remember that story from WWI? You know, both sides putting down their guns, getting together and forgetting the war for just a day? You only have to do it once a year.
Maybe stop being so extravagant with your holiday spending too. You know you are only throwing money at shitty corporations who are brainwashing you into believing you need that crap anyway. Give that cash to someone who actually needs it. I vote Christmas be renamed “Bring a Homeless Guy WHO IS NOT OF YOUR RELIGION to Dinner” Day.
And what, might you ask, do I want for the holidays? Nothing much really, a warm bed, a good roof. Some food and close friends would be nice too. And maybe Caribou Barbie’s career on a stick. Kind of like a Palin-popsicle. Someone go get me that. Just wait til after Christmas though. No sense spoiling the holidays for the Tea Party.